Step One: Why Am I Here?
I want to have sex because __________
I want sex to make me feel _________
My definition of sex is _________
Step Two: What Do I Want?
What do I fantasize about? __________
What are my happiest sexual memories? _______________
Which sex scenes in fiction interest me?_________
Is there a kind of sex I have an intellectual fascination/curiosity with?__________
If I could do anything I wanted sexually, with a guarantee that I would have a willing partner for it
and no one would shame me for it, what would I want then?________
Step Three: What Will We Do?
The one thing I would most like to experience this time is __________________
Something that will relax me before sex is _________
Something that will get me turned on is __________
Do I have a pretty specific idea of what I want, or do I want to figure it out as we go?________
Do I want one of us to take charge of what we do? ______________
Do I want to do anything outside the “standard” idea of sex? ______________
Is there something I want to experiment with, but am not sure if I'll like it?_______
Step Three: What Will We Not Do?
If I need to stop, I will say “STOP” or __________ If I ask for a stop, it means sex needs to stop RIGHT
NOW. I can ask for this at any time for any reason. I will never debate or criticize when my partner asks to stop.
If I need a break, I will say is “HOLD ON” or _____________ If I use this word, it means we're going too fast
or I need to say something. Sex needs to pause RIGHT NOW until we both understand and have addressed the
My relevant health concerns are ______________ (STI/STDs, mobility/flexibility limitations,
surgeries/injuries, pregnancy, prosthetic s/implants...)
If I have PTSD/panic attack/phobia/other psychological triggers, they are ______________ (certain
words, being touched in a certain way, being unable to move...)
We will avoid STI transmission and/or pregnancy by ______________
Anything else my partner should know about me, my needs, limits, or desires?____________