Nov 26, 2014

Realities

Female Realities


Respect his judgment
Respect his abilitiesRespect in communication

Respect in publicRespect in our assumptions



A wife has one driving need — to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need — to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy.
When either of these needs isn't  met, things get crazy.



A man needs to feel that he is needed, and that he excels his woman in his role. If she becomes independent, he may question his purpose and his feelings for her "since his romantic feelings partly arise from her need to be protected, sheltered and cared for." -
A woman should accept her husband at face-value and not try to change him. His pride and freedom are inviolable. She should focus on his good qualities and he will improve naturally in response to her.

Nov 23, 2014

Training updated

She will glow inside with the certain knowledge that her Husband loves her enough to correct her.






Training has a wonderful affect because it forces the Husband to do two important things. Firstly he must look at his own life and live a shining example to his wife, and secondly he must focus closely on what he wishes to correct in his wife. This immediately eliminates just drifting along in your marriage and creates a clear objective that you are both seeking to turn your marriage into a great love for life.





The second area of training is to create a sexually obedient wife. By applying a male sex drive to a wife in an environment where she is sexually obedient the amount of hot sex in your marriage doubles. No longer is there any impediment to continuous sex as a sexually obedient wife’s may be taken anywhere, anytime and anyhow. Sex is a skill that she must learn. While her mother instructed in a lot of things she did not teach to be hot sexually, this is her Husband's job.

x

Nov 22, 2014

as she needs


Dream of Me


medium

George was a friend from university, we had known each other for some time. I liked George, he was the kind of person you couldn't help liking. He was a very peaceful person, actually one of those who really didn't like conflicts. I never saw him as meek, though, kind and gentle and sometimes a little too cautious but not meek.

He had married a beautiful woman. Her name was Katherine. She was tall, had dark eyes and dark brown hair. She was an intelligent person, had an active mind and was one of those who got things done.

With George she was vicious. I don't know why she ever married him. He, on the other hand, adored her, he was devoted to her and did everything for her. It was hard not to be a little hostile to her the way she treated him.

She mocked him openly and told him, in front of others, what a useless nobody he was. It hurt to see it.

I don't want to judge, maybe he deserved it, maybe she had her reasons but to anyone watching she was vicious.

We had met up with a group of friends at a restaurant, a rather fancy one. Katherine and George were there and so was I. It was obvious that Katherine was in a foul mood. It didn't take long before she lashed out at George.

'You are not a man, George, you are a boy and boys don't get to kiss pretty girls.'
'Please, Katherine.'
'Don't 'please' me, why should I keep quiet? You let everyone walk all over you.'
'That's not true.'
'This Sasha woman, she is not even your boss, you let her order you around.'
'I am helping her, Katherine.'
'She is pretty and she lets you do all the job and she gets the credit.'
'You are being harsh.'
'I am not harsh, I am gentle. No real man would let someone, like this Sasha, use you like she does.'
'What do you want me to do?'
'In Russia, I have been told, a woman is not satisfied with her husband until he whips her.'
'Isn't that taking it too far?'
'You don't get it, do you, gentle George, you are just a boy.'

At this point some other friend butted in and directed the conversation away from George and onto something completely different.

I spoke with George later, when the conversations were not across the table but face to face.
'George,' I said, 'why do you let her talk to you, like that?'
'What can I do?' He looked miserable.
'Maybe she has a point?'
'What do you mean?'
'Maybe you are too gentle?'
'I don't know, I don't know. It makes me all frustrated.'
'And angry?'
'Yes, angry too.'
'Maybe that's a good thing.'

Some time later I was invited to a dinner at George and Katherine's house. They lived in a nice house that had a dining room that allowed rather nice dinners.

I was early, way too early. I know this is extremely impolite but I thought I may help them with the dinner or just be there for them. George was a good friend and he had seemed very stressed out about this dinner. It was Katherine's idea but it made George anxious.

As I walked up to the front door, I noticed it was open. I called out but no one answered. I peeked through and saw no one so I decided to walk in. I considered myself a very good friend of George's and I knew he liked me too. It wasn't according to protocol to enter like that but I dared it anyway.

I heard that they were busy on the first floor. I listened and found that they were very busy. I heard upset voices and realized a row was going on.

Curiosity got the better of me. I wanted to know what George and the delightful Katherine rowed about. I walked halfway up the stairs and prepared myself to look confused and surprised should any of them find me there.

Now I could hear what they said.
'No, you bastard, I am not going to wear the black dress. It makes me look like a prostitute.' Katherine was incensed.
'I don't think you look like a prostitute,' George said, his voice lower.
'It clings to my body, I don't like it, it's too short. And it isn't going to happen.'
'I think it is stylish...'
'It's vulgar.'
'...and sexy. You look great in it.'
I heard something new in his voice. I couldn't put my finger on it. His voice was low, almost purring but there was a tone of something else there, something a little menacing. And in combination with the trivial matter of which dress his wife was to wear I realised something unusual was happening.

'Why are you staring like that?' Katherine said, her voice sharp.
'Put on the black dress.'
'No.'
'Put it on.'
'Don't be ridiculous. Are you going to force me.'
'For the last time, put it on.'

The sharpness in George's voice made me prick up my ears.
'No.'

George didn't reply. I heard him walk across the room and open a door. He soon returned and I heard Katherine laugh.
'What are you doing with that thing?' Her voice was mocking him.
'You will soon find out.'
'I will soon find out,' she repeated, her voice cold as ice.
'Come here.'
'Why on earth would I do...'

There was commotion in the room. I heard someone move across the floor. Then silence. Through the silence came strange whimpering sounds, sounds of frustration, and perhaps struggle. Were they wrestling?

I had to get closer.
'You bastard!' Katherine cried.
'Long...time...coming.'

I sneaked up to the door to their bedroom. It was slightly ajar and I could peek through the opening. What I saw made me gasp.

In the bedroom was a comfy armchair. It was covered in green velvet and not stylish enough for the living room and I assume that is why it ended up in the bedroom instead. Across the armrest Katherine was lying, face down. She was dressed in a bright red satin dress. I had seen it before, it was a rather nice dress. Now it was in disarray.

George was standing beside her, leaning over her and as more and more details became clear, I saw that he was holding his wife down on the armchair with a grip on her arm, an arm that was twisted on her back.

I didn't see Katherine's head but I could clearly see her bottom. It was no longer covered by her dress. The skirt was ruthlessly pushed up over her back. Furthermore I noticed that she had no knickers on. I then saw that this was not completely true. They hung around her knees and looked very thin and black and lacy.

In his other hand, George held a long narrow object. I thought it could be a black riding crop. As I looked through the door he brought this vicious thing down on the very unprotected bottom of his wife. The sound was tremendous. I heard a short swishing sound that was followed by a sharp report when the leather of the crop hit the soft skin of Katherine's behind.

I flinched and gasped as I heard Katherine cry out, in anger and frustration more than anything.
'You bastard.'
Her protest was cut short by another sharp cut by the horsewhip. The effect was immediate and now there was agony in the unarticulated cry Katherine let out.

She kicked her legs and tried to wriggle free but this time, George was the stronger. She was rewarded with another lash by the crop.

I stared at the scene in front of my eyes. George let the whip fly through the air, time and time again only to land with devastating effect on the naked bottom of the proud Katherine. I saw red stripes form across her fair buttocks.

'Please, please,' she cried and George stopped suddenly.
'I will take the black one, George, I will, just stop it.'
'Good, I am pleased,' he said, a new confidence in his voice. 'Then there isn't much left.'
'What do you mean?' Katherine sounded worried.
'I mean, it is just the rest left.'

Then he whipped her again. She cried out in agony as the crop hit home. George delivered a set of hard blows and his wife wriggled pathetically under the lash.

I knew I had to leave. I had been transfixed by the scene before my eyes and as I tore myself from it, I felt my heart beating hard. I was shocked but there was also a strange thrill within me, a something that spoke of excitement.

I sneaked down the stairs and back outside. I walked out into the street and was happy for the chill in the air. It helped to cool me down. I stood in the dark for a while and waited.

Finally I saw a couple of other friends arrive and I pretended I had just got there and accompanied them to the front door. Now it was closed and we rang the bell.

George answered and he looked smart as always. Nothing in his face or behaviour seemed to betray what had just happened. As he ushered us into the dining room we were met by his wife. She smiled and sparkled as she always did and looked very lovely in her very short black dress, a dress that hugged her body tightly and was revealing but still very stylish.

Katherine looked admiringly at her George and I didn't at all see the tension in her mouth, that little movement that often came before some mocking remark. No, Katherine was very quiet and delightful and only once did I see her twitch her face, and that was when she sat down at the dinner table.




Nov 21, 2014

REINFORCEMENT


Discipline -
“Training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral
character. Control gained by enforcing obedience or order. A rule or system of
rules governing conduct or activity.”

Correction -
“The action or an instance of correcting. A bringing into conformity with a
standard. Something substituted in place of what is wrong.”

Punishment -
“The act of punishing. Imposing a penalty on for a fault, offense, or violation.
Inflicting a penalty for the commission of an offense in retribution or

retaliation.

PUNISHMENT is anything that decreases the likelihood a behavior will occur again.

REINFORCEMENT is anything that increases the likelihood a behavior will occur again.

Both punishment and reinforcement can either be positive or negative, meaning they can have something added or removed.




                                         
 

Nov 19, 2014

Benefits




Loving Domestic Discipline is a wonderful lifestyle that has many benefits for those who practice it. In this article we will examine some of the benefits that it offers for the woman who is lovingly disciplined by her HOH - her male Head of Household. He is the man (either her husband or her boyfriend) who is responsible for disciplining her for feminine misbehavior. He does this as a loving gift of guidance and correction to her. He disciplines her for her own good.

If you have read any of the other articles of the Loving Domestic Discipline  you will know that there are various types of spankings that a woman may receive. The main types, aside from an Introductory Discipline, are punishment spankings, Maintenance Discipline, Preemptive Discipline and Disobedience Discipline spankings. With only the occasional exception, the issues discussed in this article apply to all of those types of spankings, which together form the basis of the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle.

This article will explore the benefits of Loving Domestic Discipline for the woman. Although many people practice Loving Domestic Discipline, not all are consciously aware of the many benefits it bestows upon the woman who receives it. She may receive Loving Domestic Discipline but not fully understand why it is helping her so much and making her feel so good in herself. While a conscious understanding of the benefits of Loving Domestic Discipline is not necessary to enjoy these benefits, a more conscious awareness can help to render a woman more grateful for the gift of Loving Domestic Discipline that her HOH gives her. It can also make her more articulate when she explains her lifestyle to trusted friends or family.

The primary benefit of Loving Domestic Discipline for a woman is behavior modification. Behavior modification is a very simple yet powerful effect of Loving Domestic Discipline. People try all sorts of techniques in order to modify their own behavior - therapy, self-help books, counselling, prayer, meditation, medication, and numerous other methods and modalities. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don't. Sometimes they work a little bit and sometimes they work a lot. Naturally, it varies from person to person. But many women try various techniques to modify their own behavior without success. These experiences often leave a woman disappointed and frustrated that her time, money and effort have resulted in so little positive change.

One thing that is virtually guaranteed to work when it comes to behavior modification is Loving Domestic Discipline. Loving Domestic Discipline is an almost sure fire way to modify a woman's behavior (or more correctly, misbehavior) for the better. The pain, shock and humiliation of a bare-bottomed punishment spanking has a profound effect on a woman's psyche. It strongly discourages her from making the same mistake again. It strongly discourages her from misbehaving in the same way again. It strongly encourages her to modify her behavior.

You might perhaps think that there are much easier ways for a woman to modify her behavior than being put over her husband's lap and spanked to tears. Why wouldn't any sane woman choose an easier way than that? Why wouldn't she use an easier, less humiliating method of modifying her behavior than being spanked like a child? Why would a woman choose the most unpleasant option? The answer is because the most unpleasant option is also the most effective. The most unpleasant option - a punishment spanking - is also the most likely to produce the most beneficial outcome. It is the most likely to produce genuine and lasting behavior modification. Whatever the kind of misbehavior that needs to be modified or corrected - disobedience, dishonesty or disrespect - Loving Domestic Discipline is the technique that is the most likely to achieve real behavior modification for a woman. It will stop her from behaving in a negative, non-loving and destructive manner. It will provide her with a strong discouragement against further behavior of the same kind.

Loving Domestic Discipline will encourage the punished woman to change her behavior for the better. And it will do this in no uncertain terms. Being put over her HOH's knee and having her bottom spanked until she cries is not something she can easily forget or ignore. The memory of the spanking and the pain of the spanking will remain with her for hours, if not days. It will encourage her to behave better in future so that she does not receive the same punishment again for the same offense. It is a very simple yet deeply effective way of modifying a woman's behavior for her own good, so that she becomes more loving, respectful, honest and obedient.

Behavior modification is great, but it is not an end in itself. It sounds great, but there are other considerations too. There is no point a woman modifying her behavior (or being encouraged to modify her behavior) if her attitude does not change too. If she is spanked for a particular kind of misbehavior such as lying, swearing, etc, it is great if the spanking results in her ceasing to behave in that way. But if she avoids that negative behavior while walking around with a permanently resentful attitude or a constant sour expression on her face, that is not a great outcome. Loving Domestic Discipline will help her to change her attitude as well as her behavior. Loving Domestic Discipline is a great attitude adjuster. Not only is it necessary to sometimes modify a woman's negative behavior, it is also necessary to encourage her to change her attitude to a more positive, loving one.

Another important benefit of Loving Domestic Discipline is that it has a deterrent effect. This is part of its behavior modification aspect, but deterrence is a specific process and benefit for the woman who is disciplined. The process of receiving a punishment spanking has the effect of deterring a woman from repeating her misbehavior. The pain and humiliation of her spanking deters her from making the same mistake again. Deterrence is in itself a very good reason to use Loving Domestic Discipline, because the deterrent effect of discipline spanking is so effective in preventing a recurrence of negative feminine behavior.

The word "discipline" has a number of different meanings, according to the dictionary. Its original meaning was instruction or teaching. It also refers to the concept of "training" - training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character. Loving Domestic Discipline includes these meanings and these benefits within the lifestyle. Loving Domestic Discipline has the benefit of actually "teaching" the woman to behave better. This benefit of teaching is quite extensive and very valuable. Her HOH uses his love for his woman and his wisdom to teach her to live, speak and act in a more loving way. Just as a parent teaches their child, so too an HOH teaches his woman via Loving Domestic Discipline. This does not mean that a woman is on the same level as a child and that the HOH is her parent. It simply means that she acknowledges that she cannot always behave in a way that is best for her and for those around her. In such situations, she accepts that her HOH will teach her a better way to behave. She allows herself to be taught a lesson by him when he decides it is necessary for her. She submits to his teaching because she realizes that she will learn something useful from it. She sees that his teaching will be beneficial for her, even if she is not always completely receptive at first. In the long run, the teaching aspect of Loving Domestic Discipline will help her to become a better person.

The teaching aspect of Loving Domestic Discipline does not imply that the woman is stupid or ignorant. It simply means that she wants to learn various things that she does not yet know or has not yet fully mastered or understood. Students who go to college, university or night school are not stupid. They simply want to learn things. That is the role of the teaching aspect of Loving Domestic Discipline. It is a great benefit for the woman that she is taught by her HOH as an integral part of the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle.

That teaching aspect of Loving Domestic Discipline is connected to the concept of training that is one of the meanings of the word "discipline." Discipline means training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character. Training does not mean some kind of humiliating animal training or slave training as in BDSM. It simply means that a woman's HOH uses Loving Domestic Discipline to correct, mold and perfect the behavior of his woman, for her own good and for the good of those around her. It does not mean that he is molding her into the ideal, silent, submissive little wife who will serve him unquestioningly, for his own selfish benefit. It means that he is helping her to become a better person. It means that he is helping her to become a happier and more fulfilled person too. Training is a positive, helpful and beneficial part of Loving Domestic Discipline. The woman who receives Loving Domestic Discipline is fortunate enough to get exactly the right kind of training - the kind that is best for her, personally. It is the ultimate, individualized, personal training for the woman who wants to achieve maximum personal growth. Loving Domestic Discipline is personal training or life coaching from the person who loves her best in the whole world - her husband. And it is free!

The primary meaning of the word "discipline" is punishment. Punishment is viewed by many as the sole activity of Loving Domestic Discipline, even though that is obviously not the case. However, punishment is still a very important benefit of Loving Domestic Discipline. If a woman behaves in a negative, harmful way that is bad for herself or other people, it is appropriate that she receive some form of punishment. Punishment is a form of retribution. It is a kind of negative payback for the harm that she has caused. It involves a measured and effective amount of suffering for the woman, otherwise it would not be called punishment. The punishment aspect of Loving Domestic Discipline has a number of different benefits but is also beneficial in itself. When a woman is punished for her misbehavior, she gains an immediate benefit from the punishment. Although Loving Domestic Discipline has many other benefits, the punishment involved in a discipline spanking is a powerful and effective benefit for the woman.

The punishment involved in Loving Domestic Discipline is primarily corporal in nature, although there are other types of punishment or discipline in the lifestyle too, as many people may already know. On a very simple level, the Non-Spanking Discipline techniques are forms of punishment that do not necessarily involve physical suffering, but which are still highly beneficial for the disciplined woman. Nonetheless, the physical nature of the punishment in Loving Domestic Discipline is very powerful, beneficial and productive. It leads in turn to a number of other benefits for the woman, due to its natural intensity. These benefits are related to both the physical and the emotional impacts of the suffering produced by the woman's punishment.

One of the most important benefits of the punishment aspect of Loving Domestic Discipline is catharsis. Catharsis is a cleansing or purging of negative emotions, either via a purification process or by bringing the emotions into conscious awareness. Essentially, spanking is emotionally cleansing for the woman. It cleanses her negative emotions. It removes her guilt. She may feel guilty because she knows that she has done the wrong thing and is being punished for it. She feels guilty because she has let herself down. She feels guilty because she has let her husband down and now he has had to teach her a lesson by spanking her. Some of her guilt may come from other incidents in the past which are not directly related to her current episode of misbehavior, but which still have contributed in some way to her current predicament. The beauty of Loving Domestic Discipline is that the HOH does not need to know what these original causes of guilt are or were. He simply needs to spank his woman properly and the punishment aspect of Loving Domestic Discipline will take care of her guilt via catharsis.

The cathartic aspect of Loving Domestic Discipline will also deal with the shame that the woman feels about her behavior and/or her attitude. The physical and emotional intensity of her punishment spanking will remove her shame, because she is temporarily placed in a far more shameful position as a result of having to be spanked. Being made to remove her clothing and being spanked to tears is a profoundly shameful experience for a grown woman that eclipses any prior shame that she may have been feeling in relation to her misbehavior. Loving Domestic Discipline will also help a woman to deal with other types of shame, such as the shame that she may feel about her own body. The article on Nudity discusses this in more detail, but essentially a woman who is required to be partially or fully nude during a punishment spanking will be forced to accept her body in a non-sexual situation. This is highly beneficial for her, even though it may be quite unpleasant until she becomes more accustomed to it.

Loving Domestic Discipline will also deal with a woman's sense of self-disgust. She will often feel self-disgust at how she has behaved, at how she has let herself down, at how she has let her HOH down, and at how she has let other people down. Self-disgust is a strong, negative emotion that is completely flushed away by the painful and unpleasant punishment aspect of Loving Domestic Discipline, as well as the loving reconciliation that should normally take place afterwards. Catharsis helps a woman to overcome her self-disgust by washing it away.

The cathartic aspect of Loving Domestic Discipline is largely dependent on the emotional and physical intensity of a woman's punishment. The main gauge of punishment intensity and effectiveness is tears or crying. By bringing a woman successfully to tears during her punishment, her HOH can achieve a sufficiently intense level of punishment that will bring about a strong emotional cleansing for her. The harder and longer she cries, the more cleansing and cathartic her spanking will be. The more that she is spanked WHILE she is actually crying, the more intense and beneficial her catharsis will be. It is always important and beneficial to continue (or start) to spank a woman when she begins to cry, because that will intensify the cathartic benefit of her tears. Spanking a woman while she is sobbing is always highly recommended in Loving Domestic Discipline.

Another benefit of catharsis in Loving Domestic Discipline is that it will often help to release various repressed emotions that a woman may have. These repressed emotions are things that she cannot yet express, even though she feels them strongly. Just because emotions are unconscious does not mean they have no power. Often unconscious emotions are more powerful than conscious ones.

Loving Domestic Discipline will also help a woman to release any repressed beliefs that she may be holding. She may subconsciously believe that she has a right to treat people any way she likes, or that she can act without consequences. She can be completely unaware that she holds such beliefs until the intense emotional experience of Loving Domestic Discipline helps to release these beliefs into her conscious mind. Then she can process them and let them go where appropriate.

One of the primary benefits of Loving Domestic Discipline is to relieve stress. This stress is usually thought of as the woman's own stress, which is in fact usually the case. Her stress can increase to quite intense levels that sometimes can only be adequately dealt with via the intensity of a Loving Domestic Discipline spanking. But it is important to remember that it is not only the woman's stress that needs to be relieved. When a woman is stressed, the whole household seems to get stressed. The woman is the center of the home. She is the emotional and physical center of the household. When she becomes stressed, she affects the entire home. Her stress does not stop with her - it spreads out to affect others. That stress is a significant and problematic influence on the family. Many women think that their hell is a private one, but in fact their stress affects all those around them. The best solution to a woman's stress, when it is affecting the entire household, is to spank her. It need not be a punishment spanking. She might just need a good stress relief spanking. Whichever one it is, a good spanking will relieve not only her own stress, but also the stress of the entire household. All those around her will benefit when she is spanked out of her stress. Maintenance Discipline spankings have a role to play here too, because they deal with and resolve the woman's stress on a regular basis. Spanking her regularly will benefit the entire household because her stress levels will be properly managed and dealt with via the Maintenance Discipline process.

Nov 2, 2014

http://theredpillroom.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-wife-test-domesticity.html


Thursday, November 21, 2013


The Wife Test: Domesticity


It’s amazing how many women don’t really understand that “wife” is a job description, not atitle.
  


One of the key components of being a wife is being a homemaker.  That isn’t to say that housework therefore is her responsibility, only that one of the things a man seeks and finds value in when he is looking for his wife is someone with whom he can make a home.  Even in our post-industrial take-out culture a man wants to feel that he’s coming home to his wife, not going to the apartment where he sleeps with his roommate.

Many women these days, thanks to feminism’s dark shadow, have equated domesticity with slavery, for some reason.  They look with disdain on their grandmothers and great-grandmothers who saw value in building a home fit to raise children in.  As women have entered and come to dominate the workforce, they proudly eschew the domestic skills that are their maternal legacy in favor of corporate achievement and “personal fulfillment”. 

But a man who is serious about taking a wife wants a wife worth taking.  And a woman who cannot manifest her domesticity is a poor bet for the position, regardless of how hot she is or how impressive her resume is.

What is domesticity?  Simply put, it’s the discipline and art of building and developing a comfortable and attractive home for your family.  It is a task shared between husband and wife, ideally speaking, but just as a husband’s primary duty is to secure the home, the wife’s primary duty is to make it worth securing.  That doesn’t mean SCANNING Pinterest for hours until you have just the right catalog numbers, that means investing the hours of study, planning, and execution necessary to slowly convert the house you live in into an enjoyable home.

So how does one measure domesticity?  How does one wrap a rule around warmth and charm?  Can modern men even recognize it for what it is when they see it, or appreciate it properly when it is called to
their attention?
 
As part of the vetting process for your future bride, pay careful attention to a few key factors that may indicate her domestic inclinations.  In particular, be on the lookout for the following:

·                    Houseplants.  Not everyone has a green thumb, but most domestically-inclined women tend to collect houseplants.  Their condition will tell you a lot about her domesticity.


·                    If she has a pet, look to see how well she cares for it.  While the Manosphere disparages the Cat Lady, kitties do have the advantage of showing you just how attentive a woman can be to the task of keeping it properly.  A woman without much domestic inclination will often have a messy LITTER BOX or feeding area.  Dogs are even better for judging this.


·                    Is the art and decoration in her place personal, professional, or commercial?  A woman with a well-founded sense of domesticity will often have art of a personal nature, or reflective of her domestic aspirations.  Professional art demonstrates taste and culture, but could also signal aspirations of affluent status that could be contra-indicative to domesticity.  Commercial or popular art shows an investment in her social presentation, which isn’t exactly non-domestic, but it does show that she’s subject to social pressures.  If she has a Twilight poster in her room, for instance, that is telling.  And not particularly domestic.  A good mixture of all three demonstrates balance, and how they are presented will tell you how she feels about herself and her home.  An ambitious display of aphorisms and affirmations demonstrates a low self esteem and idealism more suited to corporate life than domesticity. 


If her place lacks art entirely . . . go for a one-night stand and move on.  Nothing to see here.

·                    Décor.  It doesn’t have to look like a magazine article, but are you comfortable when you go to her place?  Are the colors jarring and discordant, or warm and comfort-building?  Does she even care about the décor, or is she blatantly utilitarian?  A couple of small touches that are designed to make a noticeable difference indicate a good domestic sense.  If she has brick-a-brack, what kind and how much?  Collections of clowns, angels, kittens, frogs or ducks are generally warning signs.  Displays of her childhood and teenage achievements, family photos, and tasteful presentation are all good signs.  If you don’t understand why something is there, ask her.  If she doesn’t have a funny story or anecdote about it, that doesn’t bode well.

·                    Does she cook?  While culinary skills are no guarantee of domesticity, and their lack does not mean a lack of domestic impulse, they are nonetheless a fair indicator of her inclinations.  Mrs. Ironwood hates cooking, but that doesn’t make her any less domestic.  If a woman has a decent set of cooking utensils, actual ingredients in her refrigerator, and a pantry that contains shortening, flour, and yeast, those are good signs.  Her offering to cook you a meal within the first three dates is also a good sign.  Even if you plan on cooking for your future family, as I do mine, ensuring your future bride knows her way around the kitchen is highly recommended.

·                    Does she have people over?  There is a decidedly social component to domesticity.  Women who build nice homes want to show them off and claim the points.  If your prospective wife doesn’t ever entertain, then one potential reason is her lack of domesticity.

   ·                 Does she know her neighbors and their names?  Corporate drones can live next to someone for ten years and never know their names.  Domestically-inclined women want to know who lives around them.


·                    How often does she change her sheets, and is her laundry up to date?  Do her towels match? Piles of dirty clothes and perpetually-drying laundry are bad signs.  Clean towels and sheets are good ones.


·                    Is she careful to lock up when she leaves and not leave WINDOWS unlocked?  If she is not that conscientious about her home, she’s not going to be about yours.  Being security conscious is a domestic ability.

·                    Is her trash and recycling in order, or is it overflowing? 


·                    Has she done anything toward the presentation of her front door?  Domestically-conscious women are as into making the entrance of their homes attractive as socially-conscious women are at making an entrance.

How can you actively challenge her domesticity?  Here’s a few ways:

1.                  Tell her to make you a pie . . . but don’t give her any more details than that.  See how she approaches the matter.  If she refuses outright, get used to a lot of take-out.  If she buys pre-paid shells and fills them out of a can, or buys frozen pie, then she might be teachable, but probably not.  If she sees it as a challenge and cranks out a homemade apple pie made with fresh Granny Smiths and lard, then you have a winner.  Make sex noises while eating pie.

2.                  Ask her how she would plan your sister’s/niece’s/cousin’s emergency wedding for sixty people next weekend with a budget of $2000.  See what she comes up with.  A corporate zombie will snort and say hire someone.  A domestic goddess will have a themed action-plan and budget projections put together in an hour.

3.                  On a whim, go see a house for sale together.  As you go from room to room ask her how she would decorate it.  Along the way find out whether she would prefer city or country life, and what style of house she wants.  If nothing else, the idea of seeing a house as a “just pretend” exercise will get her thinking about your potential as a husband and start the panty-dampening process.  Plus you’re there, in a big ol’ empty house with no one else around.  You’ve got a 50/50 shot at a quickie if you have decent Game.  More, if the house is affluent enough.

4.                  Check out her mother’s place.  Domesticity isn’t hereditary, but if her mother has a strong domestic streak, then it might just be dormant in her fit of corporate rebellion from gender stereotypes.  Put a ring on it and she often goes the way her mom did.  So see how comfy your potential future mother-in-law’s place is and keep that in mind.

Even a strong sense of domesticity is no guarantee of a happy life or a good wife, but without it your marriage will suffer.  Perhaps terminally.  Figure out in advance what levels of domesticity you crave in your future and then screen accordingly.  Or get used to Lean Cuisines around the television, bub, and occasional nights of lackluster sex.  Because in my experience there is a correlation between domesticity and approachability for lusty shenanigans. 



Once the dishes are done, of course.